Saturday, 14 April 2018

On Supporting Others & Knowing When To Stop









Jumper - River Island | Skirt - C/O Kirsty Doyle | Shoes - Dune

As someone who's been blogging for over four years now, I'm all about supporting people. When you're in this industry, you appreciate every little bit of support you get because that support is what got you to where you are in the first place. 

I want to start by saying that I think supporting others is fantastic. I'm all about building up other women, celebrating people's achievements and helping out others where I can. In fact, I'm one of the few people I know who actually goes through and actively likes and/or comments on every single photo on my Instagram feed. Yep, every single one. In my opinion, if you follow someone and you don't want to like their content, then why are you even following them in the first place?

If people didn't support me, I wouldn't blog for a living, period. So of course every single like and comment I receive basically makes my day. I can't thank people enough when they feature me in blog posts, write kind words about me or feature me in their insta stories (which often gives me a big boost of followers too!). 

You get me. Support is fantastic. So, why is it lately I've got a little bit tired of supporting certain people? 

It almost sounds horrible when I say it out loud, but there are certain people who I'm basically done with supporting, and it's usually for one of two reasons:

1. Because it's like talking to a brick wall.

2. Because they don't appreciate it / throw it back in your face. 

Starting with number 1, I obviously don't mean huge bloggers here. I'm hardly expecting Zoella to sit down every day and reply to all ten thousand comments on her latest Instagram post, likewise there are massive bloggers who would never have the time to reply to every Insta Story message. 

No, I'm talking about the people who just can't be bothered. 

There are people with smaller followings who flat out ignore comments and messages simply because they can't really be bothered to respond. And if I'm honest, I think it's kind of rude. If someone spends even a second of their time writing a nice thing about you then I think you could spend a second even sending a heart emoji back, minimum. I know we all have lives and jobs and friendships to maintain but it really doesn't take long at all to reply to people and just give someone the time of day.

But really, it's number 2 that is the biggest one for me.

There are bloggers who I have supported since the beginning, who I have been friends with, have met up with for coffee and made the effort to feature them to help them gain more followers. And there have been a few times where they have either totally ignored my comments, never ever liked one of my photos (even though they follow me) or just unfollowed. 

Now, I want to make it clear that I know you shouldn't give to receive. Obviously I know this, otherwise I wouldn't support people who don't even know who I am. But when it's someone who you have made the effort with for a long time, and they clearly know you, it's kind of like a slap round the face when they unfollow or ignore you. 

There are people I follow on Instagram (who follow me back) and I have liked every single one of their photos from the past year, but they haven't liked a single one of mine (but have liked plenty of other people's). I've also had one person even like one of my photos then promptly unlike straight away, so I'm aware that it isn't just a case of "the algorithm". 

It also didn't do wonders for my mental health, as I began to wonder why these people didn't like me. "What am I doing wrong? I'm being kind but they're not reciprocating. I thought we were friends! Do they hate me?!"

Like I said, I love supporting people, but after a while I've started to realise that there's just certain people who you shouldn't support anymore. We all lead busy lives and if I'm going to take the time to support as many people as possible, then maybe I should take my likes and comments and focus them on the people who I know appreciate them, rather than wasting my time on the people who clearly don't. 

Most of the time it does make me sad to stop supporting someone, but when they don't seem to give a damn whether you're there or not then perhaps it's time to say no. 

I'd really love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments. Do you agree that you should support the people who you know deserve it, or should you just encourage everyone no matter what? x









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