Tuesday, 30 January 2018

How I Finally Started Living







Skirt - C/O Chi Chi London | Jumper - Primark | Bow - C/O Mille Saisons

I've always been an introvert. Even when I was a teenager my weekends were either spent working my butt off at the local pub or sitting indoors in my jammies watching a Disney movie. I never even went to the regular school discos that were held with the boy's equivalent of my all-girl's school, which led to some rather confused boys when our schools were combined for an activity day. 

"Um...who are you?" 

I also honestly couldn't think of anything worse than heading out at around 10pm (hello? That's bedtime!) and getting drunk until around 3am. A lot of people love it, but I am definitely not one of those people. 

But while I was happy and content with staying in, when I started going to university I found myself with a growing sense of dissatisfaction with how my life was playing out. I was torn. I didn't want to go out with the other students...but I was bored of sitting in all the time doing very little. 

Despite having some great times at university, I eventually left and felt a strong sense of regret. I had never lived in university accommodation or shared a house with other students. I had spent a lot of my time in an unhappy relationship with someone who didn't want me to go out. But again, I wasn't quite sure what I was regretful of. How could I regret not doing something that I wouldn't have enjoyed?

When I finally ended that relationship, it clicked. It wasn't that I felt unsatisfied because I wasn't doing stuff I hated, it's because I wasn't doing anything I loved either. 

So I sat down and thought about the things I wanted in life. I wanted to travel more. I realised that travel was the thing I was most passionate about creating content around. So I made a promise to myself to make at least one trip somewhere every single month. I booked a trip to Manchester for the following month and it started from there. 

Instead of spending money on clothes and makeup, I saved where I could and spent that money on little weekend breaks, hunting for deals wherever I could. Although I didn't manage to hit my target of 12 destinations in 2017, I did hit 10, which I was so pleased with. 

And when I looked back at the end of the year, I felt completely different. It felt like I had truly lived that year. After so many years of feeling trapped, I was finally doing what I was passionate about. 

This year, I currently have six trips booked in and I honestly couldn't be more excited. I'm really hoping that I hit my goal of 12, but to be honest, even if I don't I'll still be pleased with my achievement. 

One of my life phrases is that it's never too late to change your story and I honestly still believe that it's true. Even if you're scared to give something a shot, take that leap of faith and just do it. Looking back, I wish I'd had the courage to do everything I really wanted to do sooner. x

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde







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