Am I Too Nice?

This feels like a question I have asked myself on an almost daily basis for my entire life. Is it possible to be just too nice

For years I've always been the bigger person. I like to take it upon myself to rise above a situation, to hardly ever get angry, to tolerate when people are a dick to me. I've always compared my mood in these situations to a volcano. It lays dormant for a long time but it only takes one moment for it to explode.

And I'm not kidding. I've exploded once after someone tested me just one too many times and it was crazy. Looking back I'm like, "What in actual hell was I thinking!?" But to be honest, I often wonder if I should be like that more often.

The thing with being too nice is that people often mistake it for weakness. They know you're going to be there for them so they just take advantage of your generosity and kindness until they've completely drained you, and then they walk away. 

And I'm not going to lie, after a while, it really becomes exhausting. It feels like being punched in the  face over and over. It feels like, despite being the best version of yourself you can be, you never get your good karma. 

Should I just give up and be like everyone else? 

The thing is, it's not going to happen. That's not who I am. 

I am proud to say that I'm too nice. It may be my biggest flaw, but I'm proud of that. Because even with the people out there who are going to attempt to walk all over me I can still turn around and say that I'm the decent person, that I tried to do my best to do the right thing. 

One thing I have learnt is to say no more often and this has really helped. But I suppose I'm always going to be that person who tries to please everyone and be kind. I don't think any number of self-help books is ever going to change that. 

And maybe that means I'll have to erupt like a volcano again at some point. So be it! But I apologise in advance if you're the person I end up shouting at (I promise it doesn't happen often). 

So, yeah, I'm not going to be a dick. It just ain't gonna happen. But I will pick my moments to fight back, so don't test me, eh? 

And if you ever think about this like I do, that you're just that bit too nice, trust me, I'd much rather hang out with you than some asshat who takes advantage of people. We're the better people and I like to think we'll get our good karma in the end. x